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Mind Control Rays

Government bans tin-foil beanies

Metal headwear not fair on mind-control spooks, say Feds

Aluminum Foil Deflector BeanieResponding to pressure from the CIA and NSA, the US Government has banned aluminum headgear, metal underwear and other devices designed to interfere with mind-control rays.

"This kind of clothing is unpatriotic," said a White House spokesman. "America's intelligence agencies are fighting a ceaseless battle against the forces of terrorism, paranoia, alien abduction and civil liberties. Mind control is an essential weapon in our fight to keep the US safe from unconventional and non-conformist elements in society. The agencies rely on mind-control rays to preserve our freedom, and we have to let these guys do their jobs."

He added: "It's also unfair. The Government has invested billions in the MKULTRA program, developing some of the most sophisticated technology known to man. And these antisocial elements are defeating it with two dollars' worth of Bacofoil."

Congress was prompted to outlaw the possession or manufacture of anti-mind-control devices and garments when it was revealed that increasingly large numbers of people were failing to take the Government seriously.

"Clearly our message isn't getting through," said Senator Julius Fouine, chair of the Congressional Committee on Democratic Conformance. "Congress, the intelligence agencies, the armed forces - we can't make the US the country it's supposed to be all by ourselves. We need everyone on board and on message. We have the technologies to achieve this, to ensure that people think the right way, but we have to deal with that small portion of the population - traitors, I'd call them - who have the strange and unAmerican delusion that they can think any way they like."

Not everyone is happy about the ruling. 

Jezebel X, a self-confessed mind control sex-slave, who claims to have been the unwilling plaything of George W Bush, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, the last three Popes, and OJ Simpson, said: "A tin-foil hat is the only way I can get any rest. If I couldn't block the rays from time to time, I'd be worn out within a week." Asked why she didn't wear the aluminum hat all the time, she replied: "A job's a job."

There are rumours of activity by a shadowy group known as the Beanie Resistance Army (BRA) - an uneasy coalition of geeks, conspiracy theorists and ex-postal workers, according to one anonymous source. "There's a growing underground network of freedom fighters dedicated to distributing beanie-making materials to insurgents across the country," he said.

Recent raids by FBI agents have uncovered BRA safe houses where they discovered instructions for building tin-foil beanies and aluminum long-johns. They also unearthed several copies of the covert movement's 'bible', the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, a book that allegedly provides full details of how to make anti-mind-control devices from nothing more than household materials.

However, according to experts, the law concerns only metal-based garments and will affect just a handful of people. "It's a good job they exempted propeller beanies," commented a spokesgeek from Slashdot, "otherwise the internet woulda ground to a halt."

[Photo courtesy Zapato Productions Intradimensional]

 

Tags: mind-control NSA CIA intelligence government

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theyseeu
Posts: 53
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Reply #17 on : Thu May 23, 2013, 01:29:25
I cannot seem to locate anything about "senator Julius Fouine" or the "congressional committee on democratic conformance"......this doesn't seem like any kind of truth to me
charles kafka
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Reply #16 on : Sat March 30, 2013, 16:41:55
"this device must accept all interference to it"
is written somewhere on all electronic and information devices we purchase legally.
Youdhita
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Reply #15 on : Fri May 04, 2012, 07:01:37
This is an This is an interesting video .but I've been seenig? these pulsating, rainbow colored? UFO's for 3 weeks now, in St? George, Utah..really strange..has anyone else seen them? I've? taken 11 videos of them so far if you want to see them.. click my Moondawgee channel moniker under this comment? box after you see the video's I've taken, tell me if you've ever seen? these kind before, and where? I think these are some of the best video's of UFO's ever shot. I'm just trying to get some answer's. Was this answer helpful?
isabel
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Reply #14 on : Thu June 02, 2011, 08:20:18
it is tru
i have it all over my boddy.
but i hav meny chips.
did in sweden.
dr do not wahnt to help.
elev it this is tru.
isabel
crystalP
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Reply #13 on : Sat January 08, 2011, 00:33:52
I checked the federal register and could find no such law. I don't buy in to this stuff but my brother does. If this is a true story (I think it is not) could you please provide a law number.
Acrophile
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Reply #12 on : Tue July 13, 2010, 21:47:47
S'ok. Mylar is far more effective anyway. ;)
Poor Crazy Bastard
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Reply #11 on : Mon May 10, 2010, 07:25:11
LOL!

I'm Canadian, LOL!
R.I.P. van Winkle
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Reply #10 on : Thu November 05, 2009, 23:04:15
If it wasn't a conspiracy, "they" would have let "us" in on it.
goopy
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Reply #9 on : Tue August 04, 2009, 17:31:25
a research from Arthur S. Silversheets demonstrates that chewing bits of aluminium foil everyday helps raise our level of alumino-acids in our bloodstream, resulting in more deposits of sub-atomic aluminium compounds in the fat tissues around our jaw area, thus giving us a natural protection against damaging mind-control rays.
David
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Reply #8 on : Sun May 24, 2009, 19:49:29
I seriously doubt that tin foil beanies will stop a remote viewer/influencer from penetrating your thoughts. A lead faraday cage couldn't even accomplish the feat. But if you want to block electronic means, you may have something. Is this true? There is a law banning these? I listen to Coast to Coast AM and hear the extremists discuss weather control, and chemtrails from planes as dumbing down drugs and the like. I'm sure it's not too far fetched to keep us subordinent.Maybe thats why the government wanted the Tv freqeuncies back. Is there any proof of their mind control from satellites?
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