Teen aliens on drunken rampage

Hopped-up Reptilians and pie-eyed Grays are wreaking havoc in our skies, crop fields and cattle herds, says UFO expert Dr William H Carpenter.

Drinking and substance abuse are now rampant among visiting extraterrestrials, he claims, especially among the younger space travelers.

Carpenter heads the Carpenter Foundation which publishes books and DVDs on UFOs, alien abductions, cattle mutilations, and paranormal phenomena and also provides rehab facilities for celebrities.

He points to several recent examples of attempts at crop circles that have gone horribly wrong, botched abductions and erratic flying during the day with lights on, in plain view of humans with video cameras.

"This bears all the hallmarks of juvenile behavior," said Carpenter. "Worse, it's typical of youths high on drugs or alcohol. And my fear is that it's all our fault."

Sixty years of contact with humans may have resulted in some of our worst traits rubbing off on the celestial visitors, Carpenter believes. "It looks as though our own degradation has let to a fall in personal and professional standards on the part of our extraterrestrial guests," he said. "Youngsters are very vulnerable to such corruption and there's no reason to assume aliens are any different."

It's essential we make contact with the UFO drivers, says Carpenter. "Not only do we need to extend the hand of peace, to learn what we can from these advanced civilizations, to explore the infinite wonder of creation and expand our consciousness through the insights they can provide into the mysteries of the universe, we also have to make them understand they they need to obey our laws and act in an adult and responsible manner." 

But enforcing our rules on the intergalactic teens could be a tough job, he admits, especially when it comes to drinking. "Alas, even if we could meet them face-to-face," said Carpenter, "there would be no way of telling if they were under-age."